


Real Sex Is Funny

by ladydragon76



Category: Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-04-25
Packaged: 2017-11-04 07:11:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> From the kinkmeme, the request can be found <b> <a href="http://tfanonkink.livejournal.com/7561.html?thread=7237769#t7237769">here</a> </b>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Real Sex Is Funny

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** Cracky, PnP, PWP smut, Canon? What Canon? Also, I have a similar situation in another fic, but real sex IS funny, so I really couldn’t resist this one. Especially because I got to allow Bob a cameo. ^_^

**Title:** Real Sex Is Funny  
 **‘Verse:** IDW  
 **Series:** None  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Pairings:** Sunstreaker/Blurr  
 **Summary:** From the kinkmeme, the request can be found **[here](http://tfanonkink.livejournal.com/7561.html?thread=7237769#t7237769) **.  
 **Notes:** Cracky, PnP, PWP smut, Canon? What Canon? Also, I have a similar situation in another fic, but real sex IS funny, so I really couldn’t resist this one. Especially because I got to allow Bob a cameo. ^_^

 

**Real Sex is Funny**

 

_Now, TV and movies tend to show sex as a perfect, beautiful, magic moment. Which is why I always squee when one of those media outlets portrays what I think of as "real" sex - the kind where there are a half-dozen interruptions or the dog noses his way into bed or the couple falls off the bed and laughs it off or any one of a million things that can (and often does) go not-so-romantically-escapist in the bedroom._

_And that's what I want to see._

_I want any continuity, any pair of characters, getting their interfacing on and it not being the most perfect, romantic moment ever to appear in fiction. I want someone to fall off the goddamn bed and find it hilarious._

_Additional bonuses for any of the following (not all need to be included, these are just extra "for fun" bits):  
* Post-war or non-war setting, so that the couple can be "cross-faction"  
* Cross-faction couple anyway, because screw what the leaders think, this couple has been together longer than the war and needs some quality couple time.  
* If IDW-verse and Sunstreaker is half the couple, I want Bob having to be locked out of the room because he won't stop getting on the bed with them.  
* Ditto if Soundwave is half the couple in any verse, only it's Ravage who won't go the fuck away.  
* Alternatively, Bob/Ravage needs to be kicked out because he's sitting on the floor starring the whole time. Anyone whose ever owned a dog and has a healthy sex life likely knows what I'm talking about.  
* If somehow there are little Cybertronians roaming about, for the love of Primus please let there be an interruption of the "I had a nightmare/there are monsters under my bed come chase them off" variety._

_Any interface method works by me, and in fact going the plug-and-play route would add an additional level of "what could go wrong." Tangled wires, am I right?_

 

**Real Sex Is Funny**

 

Sunstreaker growled as the lithe racer arched under him, a long sleek leg sliding up the outside of his own. Blurr’s optics were shaded to cobalt, high performance vents whirring in arousal.

So of course, that’s when Bob decided all the sounds from the berth were too interesting not to investigate.

“Fragging Primus!” Sunstreaker shoved Bob’s head away, watching as the lust on Blurr’s face disappeared.

Again.

Blurr chuckled, propping himself up on his elbows. “We love you, Bob, but get down.”

Of course the blasted bug would obey Blurr, but not Sunstreaker. Not the mech that found him, fed him, and gave him a real home.

Blurr leaned up, kissing along Sunstreaker’s jaw, purring softly as Sunstreaker continued to glare after his pet. Bob snuffled around in a circle a few times, then flopped on the floor.

Bob stared right back.

“Slagging bug. Behave, or I’ll squish you yet.” Bob growl-purred as if saying he’d believe it when he saw it.

“Sunny~ Leave poor Bob alone, and pay attention to me again.”

“I _want_ to pay attention to you,” Sunstreaker said, looking back down at Blurr. The racer lay back and stretched out, body writhing, chest arching up invitingly. Sunstreaker’s voice dropped, his own body remembering exactly where they were before the interruption. “Rather pay attention to you.”

Sunstreaker traced the seams of Blurr’s interface panel, then dipped down to tease the piping in his side. Blurr moaned, the sound a deep rumble of appreciation that set Sunstreaker’s circuits to tingling.

“Have I told you I like how you pay attention to me?” Blurr murmured, mouth hot against Sunstreaker’s helm fin.

“Do you now?”

Blurr chuckled against his audial, purring, “I like when anyone gives me attention.”

Sunstreaker snorted a laugh, and bit Blurr’s shoulder. “Tramp.”

Blurr snickered, and Bob of course took that to mean it was time to join them again. The whole berth shifted, the insecticon scrambling back and forth beside them, absolutely ready to play.

“That’s it!” Sunstreaker pushed himself up off Blurr, grabbed Bob by the collar, and hauled him to the door. “Out!” He opened the door and bodily shoved the heavy insecticon out into the corridor. Bob chirred, claws screeching over the stone, but Sunstreaker was determined, and Bob, well, Bob just wanted to play with the mechs he called family. Confusion was no match for frustrated desire, and the door was shut in Bob’s face.

“Poor bug.”

“Poor bug my aft. He’s free.” Sunstreaker waved a hand at the door as he returned to the berth. “Let him go bother someone else for a little while.” He crawled onto the berth, smiling down at Blurr. “Now, where were we?”

“Right about here,” Blurr replied, fingertip gliding over the nearly invisible seam in the side of his chest. The panel catches released, and with control that had Sunstreaker grinning at how much practice Blurr must have put into the move, the panel slowly retracted.

“Mmm… Yeah, right about there.” Sunstreaker exposed his own array, and just as slowly drew out his cable. They were both grinning.

“Frag, Sunny! Just plug in already!” the racer laughed.

“Hey! I’m trying to be sexy and romantic here. Where’s the appreciation?”

“You are definitely sexy,” Blurr purred, reaching out to take Sunstreaker’s plug. Sunstreaker winced, and pressed closer as the cable was tugged. “Sorry.”

Sunstreaker shook his helm slightly at the muttered apology, brushing it off. They both moaned as Blurr pushed the plug home into his own port. Finally! Sunstreaker teased his fingertips across the racer’s array, circling around Blurr’s plug before finally pulling it across their chests to his own port.

He fumbled the connection as a loud scratching began at the door.

“I think Bob wants back in,” Blurr stage whispered.

“Ignore him.” Sunstreaker plugged in, and they both gasped as systems synced, the first intentional pulse of energy from Blurr sending a rush of pleasure through him.

The scratching turned to desperate scrabbling, complete with a loud clacking chitter the entire base had to have heard. “Going to squish him,” Sunstreaker growled, pushing himself up.

“Ow!”

“Sorry.”

“Just ignore him, like you said.” Blurr ran soothing hands over Sunstreaker’s back, fingers dipping in at transformation seams to tug at wires and brush over relays. “Focus on me.”

The noise continued, but Blurr’s hands sliding up to his helm fins to squeeze while he pulled Sunstreaker into a demanding kiss was a good distraction. Sunstreaker took over, pulsing harder, pushing his arms under the lighter racer- who he was probably crushing like this.

Sunstreaker rolled, but the berth wasn’t there. He yelped as he landed on the floor, optics wide in surprise as he stared up at an equally startled Blurr. Their optics met, Blurr blinked, then they both burst out laughing.

The scrabbling at the door stopped, only to be replaced by a fist pounding on it. “Hey! Bob’s out here freaking out! And the door’s locked. Open the door!”

Sunstreaker grinned up at Blurr, and the racer winked. “I can finish if you can.” In reply, Sunstreaker picked up the pace, spark throbbing hard. Only moments later, Blurr moaned theatrically loud, laughing as his entire frame shook in overload. Sunstreaker snickered, panting hard as he followed his lover into release.

“Oh, real funny!” the mech on the other side of the door shouted. “Come get your damn pet!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Sunstreaker yelled back, unplugging them both.

“Uh… Sunny?” Blurr was leaning up and looking between them.

Sunstreaker looked too, and let his helm drop back to the floor with a clang. “Gonna be a minute!” he called. Primus! How’d their cables even get _that_ tangled?

~ | ~

**([Table of Contents](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/6214.html) )**


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